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Be The ThornA rose I am to you,
Seated upon the nest of thorns of your love;
Far from the need to worry,
As you will keep me away from harm.
You would prevent the smallest of hardships,
You would shield me from all pain,
Never let the world's harshness come near
Lest my petals wilt.
You would keep me well watered and fed
With the bounty of your affection,
Never shall I need to feel cold
From within this glided shelter you have built.
Well, I don't want to be your flower;
Oh, so pretty,
I don't want to be protected,
Safeguarded from my own frailty
By the walls of your caring barbs.
I'd rather be the barrier.
I'd rather your home.
I'd rather be the protector.
I would be the thorn.
According ToSo, according to you
I'm a sinner,
Because I do not believe
What you believe.
I don't think how you want.
I don't pray as you pray.
The music I like,
The fashion I choose,
The way that I love,
And whom I choose to give it to;
All are wrong,
According to you.
You once called me a blasphemer
When I shunned your dogma's oppression,
You warned me I would burn in your "Hell"
If I did not repent my wayward devotions.
Well, I don't want your "Heaven",
It bores me to tears.
I don't need your nameless "God",
And I don't share your fears.
I'll keep my "Devil's music",
I'll keep my black couture,
And who I choose to fuck
Is no business of yours.
I'm a heathen.
I'm a goth.
I won't apologize,
And I won't change
Simply because you want me to.
According to you,
I'm a sinner?
Well, you can keep your diagnosis,
'Cause I'm not the one who's sick.
According to you,
I'm a lost soul who needs saving.
Well, according to me,
You're a prick.
ResignationI want to believe there's someone out there for me,
Who will love and hold me through my fears and my dreams.
But it cannot be, I know this by now;
You cannot love what you don't know.
I know there are souls who could be drawn in
As long as I'm wearing my masks.
But how can I hope any will stay
Once they have seen all that I am?
If my full honesty cannot keep friends,
What hope is there for a lover?
But if I lie as I do, it can never be real,
And I don't wish to hide forever.
And so I remain within my solitude,
By choice born of resignation,
Entertaining thoughts of companionship
That I will never pursue.
Still my heart seeks to change my decision,
Remaining hopeful as it's breaking,
Staining my soul with whispers I don't want to hear.
For as much as it is killing me to deny my needs,
I cannot find it in me to let anyone that near.
PetalsPetals fall away with the breeze,
Floating forth from this poppy field of dreams.
Drifting with the breath of your whispered words,
Forever etched into my memory's walls.
Your love for me made each day bright,
Each night warm,
Each moment count.
Your presence near made each fear scarce,
Each smile sweet,
Each breath sublime.
You were the one for whom I've lived.
For you alone I would die.
You were the one who made my world real,
You alone never needed to try.
Petals fly away with the wind.
Floating forth from pansies that in my hands rest.
Taking flight with the breath of my laments,
Forevermore sewn into the fabric of time.
Masquerade BallCome one,
To my merry, twisted
Leading bloody waltz.
With cuts upon cuts
Flesh gleefully sundered.
Simple minded innocence
Quickly struck aghast;
Just as soon left wanting,
And fervently surrendered.
There is not a single soul here
That won't tear you apart,
All with the sweetest of malice,
For this is our art.
But fear not,
It's all in good fun.
We'll give you
A head start to run.
We'll hurt you,
Make you bleed,
But we'll do it with love.
And when we're done
You will see
This is where you belong.
So come one,
To my endearingly cruel
I do swear,
You will very much
Enjoy your fall.
Cedar SmokeI feel a push at the edge of my mind,
An insidious press so malignant,
Attempting to breach into my sanctuary,
The one place of me in which I am safe.
Hear me now,
You will not break through.
You will not penetrate my carefully pieced walls,
The haven made of dreams that are these halls.
Hear me well,
I am not so weak.
I am far from being a defenceless child,
And my protective retaliation is far from mild.
With cedar smoke
I cast you out.
Onyx and flame
Be my shield.
With amethyst rain
I seal you out.
Through my power
You are banished from here.
And as I will it,
So it will be.
You will not invade.
You cannot harm me.
WantI want your soul.
I want it all.
I want each moment
Until your heart beats no more.
I'll leave you cold.
Your freedom forestall.
I'll be your torment,
Leave you broken on the floor.
And through it all,
I'll make you want me too.
The defences of your psyche
I'll break and seep through.
I'll inflame within you,
Until there is nothing
For me you will not do.
You will be mine,
Every fibre of your being.
I'll leave no surface unmolested,
No single stone unturned.
Our fates I will entwine,
Leave your life without me devoid of meaning.
There will be no limit I will leave untested,
And no trace of passion will remain furled.
It Is Not EnoughIt is not enough
That I have tried,
For so completely
I am denied
The chance to right my wrongs,
The chance to prove that I belong.
It is true
I have deceived,
But how easily
I hardly had to make an effort,
Though I did not expect any better.
Can I be held accountable
For your wilful ignorance?
The signs were there,
I made them clear;
Your chosen blindness
Is a poor defence.
I will admit
I share some fault,
But it was not I
Who began this assault;
I merely played the hand I was dealt,
Forced into action by the pain I have felt.
It is not enough
That I have failed,
My every error
Is to be hailed
In a twisted spectacle to feed your morbosity.
I am to be celebrated as your pet monstrosity.
DecisionToday I think I'll hate you.
I really might as well;
There's nothing left to do,
There's nothing left to tell.
Every choice we've made,
Every word we've uttered,
All have led to this.
As if we knew no better.
You can cry all you like,
Your pain no longer affects me.
I have purged you from my system,
And I will erase you completely.
I tried, I really did;
I gave you chance after chance.
But you wasted it on your self-pity,
And now you don't deserve a second glance.
I won't say I'm without blame,
For I did enable your addiction.
I was a fool who broke her own rule,
And you took full advantage of my selfless conviction.
But now it's all said and done,
And we've both suffered the consequences.
It really is nothing short of a shame
That it took this long to bring me to my senses.
I'm done being your shield
While you twist the dagger in my back.
I'm done letting you in,
When you refuse to get your life on track.
Today I think I'll hate you.
I'm through being your friend.
Nothing you say can
I AmI am single,
but I am loved.
I am not a genius,
but I am intelligent.
I am not breathtaking,
but I have beauty.
I am not a saint,
but I am kind.
To the world,
I am not perfect.
But for someone,
All Her Little ThingsStop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from..
Stop demanding her to do things,
Things she can't accomplish,
Things she can't imagine being done...
Stop lying to her,
Telling her you love her,
Want her, need her...
When all you've ever done is make her want to
Stop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from...
When those little things you've done
Take her down...
The little things won't matter anymore.
lung canceri will die with your name on my lips
because there is nothing else i'll need to say.
you are my coffin, my funeral pyre.
as my bones disintegrate, popping and snapping,
you will greedily swallow my ashes
until nothing is left of me but secondhand smoke.
i've danced with you, love, across hospital tile,
the scent of antiseptic cloying as valentine's chocolate.
you dipped me into unconsciousness,
and i willingly closed my eyes.
the intrusion of your scalpel teeth no longer scares me.
you, my rigor mortis soul mate, always take me under.
your tent of frostbitten shelter pulls me down, an anchor,
while i gag on pills too abstract to save me.
forgive me, lungs, of my cigarette abuse,
but i've found happiness in a reaper's cloak.
i find comfort in these carcinogens.
i've made my nest in a swaying tree,
my body destroyed by the nauseous rocking.
they smile at me with pity in their eyes,
scribbling nonsense on those jaw-like clipboards.
their crisp, stark white world still has faith in me,
Don't pick a fight with an Artist
Don't pick a fight with an artist
Wanna fight pussy?
Give me yar best shot
Or will you throw a paintbrush at me?
I'm so scared- not
Excuse me? What did you say?
What is a punch you ask?
Of course let me tell you:
A blow with the fist- it's quite a simple task
Are y' gonna cwyyy?
I dunno what you just said
Why don't you let me show you?
I'll f****** punch you and then- boom- you're dead!?
Pardon? What did you ask?
You need a clearer definition?
Of course, let me show you
I'll demonstrate- with out your permission
Ouch! Hey no fair
Dude you are so gay
You write poetry
I'll make you f****** pay!
Discúlpeme? What did you mutter?
I'm gay? Is that what you said?
Perhaps you need some assistance, let me help
I'll be gentle I promise- I did need new ink! In the colour red<
you've been dead for a year, my deari met you on december 21st,
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.
holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.
You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't th
Mirror, MirrorMirror, mirror, on the wall,
Watch it crumble, break and fall.
Look at all the bloody glass,
How it reminds them of a severed past.
Watch a reflection slowly disappear,
Looking at all the shattered, crushed mirrors.
A breathless state of mind goes by,
Am I just alive or did I die?
Confused and in an awe,
Careless people unknown to what one saw.
Throat slit so one can't be unlocked,
Too bad the thoughts have become blocked.
Crimson splatters, dripping, breaking away,
Thou shall not know the feeling of all the pain.
Oh, Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Why did you crumble, break and fall?
Eye of the StormI believed I could make the wind blow,
and force the moon to shine at night,
create rainbows just by thinking,
and hold tea parties for fairies in July,
I was the queen of my own graceful lands.
Yet, I grew old and realized,
I am the kind of girl who'd trip and fall,
often for stepping on her own feet.
My crown of diamond and gold
now a rusted piece of bronze,
I lost my throne to treason, my kingdom to hate,
I became the eye of a hurricane,
loaded with mishaps I need to atone.
I felt the soft touches of angels,
and lost my own wings to demons who could crush stone.
Felt the scorching tears run so often,
I knew I must have hit bottom low.
I had nothing holy, no one to call dear,
but here I am, the starting point of my own storm.
I felt fear, clung to shadows,
encased my heart within marble walls,
and threw the keys that can unlock my soul.
So many chances I've lost with no love to seek,
and so many people I turned my back to.
I let the darkness gnaw through my bones.
A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
MindMy oldest of enemies,
Thought processing fiend,
So full of ways to undermine me.
True culprit of my woes,
You answer to me, yet to no one at all.
I know what you are, yet
I truly do not.
To know your true face,
May I dive beneath the waves of sanity?
Shall I waltz to your ever discordant tunes?
Or will you forever elude me?
If time may prove just one thing;
I'll evermore stand against you, until I win.
AerosolIt has been a day and a half since the crash, and I have found a cabin. In some ways, this is a relief. I don’t know if I could face another night on the mountain without shelter. Outside, a fire does no good: the heat simply travels upwards. However, this place also raises some difficult questions. I estimate that I’ve put eight miles between myself and the crash site. I don’t know if this will be enough. It Saving...
occurs to me that I don’t really know anything.
The survival manual recommends staying with the plane. It explains that this affords the best chance of rescue. It explains that the wreckage offers warmth and shade. It explains that seventy percent of pilots who stay are located within three days, while seventy percent of those who leave are
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